Sunday, March 30, 2014

Therapy clinics. .ekkk

Jojo will be starting at an Autism center this week.  I am so overwhelmed by it all.  I am terribly worried about him not understanding what's going on and why I am not sitting with him and participating. I will be in a family waiting area and I will most likely be a blubbering mess.  At this point since, We reached a stall in progress in the area of OT (occupation therapy..ie fine motor, sensory, vocal stimming, oral motor) this is the next step. 

From day one of realizing that this is a lifelong diagnoses for us I promised myself that I would always try no matter how uncomfortable I feel.  I have to at least try because what if? What if it helps? 

I am constantly fighting an internal battle within my mind. I want to protect him and teach him. I want to keep him with me always so I can keep him safe.  With all the ups n downs we, as a family have faced I can't help but be that helicopter- over-protective mom.

Just going to church starts with a huge panic/anxiety attack.  I start  by being that super together mom. Having a bag of tricks packed and ready to go for distraction methods during sacrament meeting.
My goal each week is to make it to sac meeting and stay for that hour then
Quickly and quietly slip out ..why?
1. Jojo naps at 12. And when his schedule is altered he becomes agitated and the vocal stimming starts.
2.  I can't expect any primary teacher to handle the distraction and aggression that happens when he is unfamiliar
With people or surrounding areas.
3. His cognitive ability is that of a 14-16 mo old so his primary class won't make much since to him just yet.
4. He is nonverbal;  meaning he is unable to express what he needs or what's going on.
5. He is still in diapers (making great strides but communication makes this a lil slower).

So between 4 days of therapy and church I am pretty much ON all the time.  It's not getting easier.  It's more like a never know whatcha gonna get life.  Every day is different and every hour I try something new to bring him out. #neverstop
Team jojo